Here, I'll share my experience of Kundalini awakening. If you're not familiar with this concept, read the previous article.

Meditation
Shiva (my Tantra partner) and I are at a tantric massage seminar. Morning breath meditation. It requires a combination of three elements: breath, sound, and movement. Eyes are covered. You breathe through the mouth, very deeply. Find "your" sound and "your" movement. Most people make animal sounds, mostly growling, some howl, some caw. To me, it all seems silly, useless, and just not "for me." The same goes for movement. Trying to find "my" movement while standing, on all fours, sitting—pointless. I decide this is not for me. All this exploration takes no more than 15 minutes. A sad and very pessimistic question arises: what will I do for the rest of the hour? I decide to just sit in the lotus position and try to squeeze something out of myself.

Force
And then... It's as if some engine starts moving my body from the inside. It wasn't barely perceptible; it was a FORCE that might even be challenging to resist. I don't try to resist—what happens next is too intriguing. It dawns on me that I didn't find the movement; the movement found me. Initially, this "engine" rocks me somewhat chaotically, then the movements take the shape of an infinity sign. It's very new and very interesting! Then, a whirlwind-like thing starts to spin in the lower back—a sort of tornado, narrow at the base and widening like a funnel upward, the widest part of the funnel ending at the level of the fifth (throat) chakra. This "whirlwind" spins with incredible force, and my body starts moving in a circle, as if inside this funnel.

Suddenly, from the lower back up along the spine, a warm, sinuous wave glides like a graceful snake. Pleasurable, sweet, blissful. Then my sound finds me; it just burst out of me beyond my will. These were moans of bliss! Not just pleasures but actual bliss!

A feeling of unparalleled delight and pleasure spread through my head, penetrating every cell, every nerve. This was the ascent of my Kundalini.

On that day, the world seemed to turn upside down: sounds, visual perception, touches felt different. The touch of warm spring water, which enveloped the body with an unprecedented caress, brought special pleasure. Everything became brighter, more saturated, more pleasant. Like never perceived before, like impossible to describe in the words of human language. Divine, intoxicating, euphoria, bliss, nirvana, non-being.

Light
After lunch – a practical session on tantric massage, the indulgence of Shakti (Shakti - tantric partner) under the slogan Happy Shakti – Happy Shiva. I feel the approach of orgasm; Shiva's task is to hold me as long as possible at this threshold without crossing it. At some point, the body can no longer resist; it simply disappears. I turn into something that is hard, very hard to describe, but it can probably be compared to a flash, a cluster of energy, or light. This cluster rises up, up to the ceiling, into the sky, merges with the sun, illuminating everything around, and then scatters into thousands-millions-billion sparkling particles that fall on everyone around like magic rain. That's how I learned what life particles are, and I can confirm that, as the rumors say, they are golden. It's difficult even to comprehend, let alone describe vividly, the firm belief that human language is impoverished, no words can even reflect a hundredth of all this! Ecstasy-ecstasy-ecstasy! I am energy, I am light, I am LOVE! Teachers Steve and Lokita seem to be as amazed as I am. They fold their hands in Namaste and bow to me, calling me Goddess. It's pleasant and amazing to hear from such gurus.

Enjoyment
The first day after returning to Seattle. Woke up in the morning, the heart pounding, couldn't do anything at all, hands shaking so much that I couldn't even hold a cup of tea. After the rise of Kundalini energy, it surges day and night, and it became very difficult to sleep at night. I decided that I needed to lie down again, and... oh gods! Waves of incredible bliss began to wander over my body; every cell of my body began to open like a flower bud, absorbing, sucking in this bliss. It seemed that I felt each of my million cells, and I was happy for each of them, and each of them smiled back at me. Sometimes the wave covered the whole body without residue, sometimes it went in some direction, but wherever it passed, there was bliss-bliss-bliss. And sometimes two or three waves spread in different directions at the same time. Special pleasure was felt in the heart chakra. Waves of pleasure sometimes flowed there, leading to the unfolding of thousands of magnificent flowers. Instead of the aroma, these flowers exuded bliss and spread it throughout the body. I physically felt the opening of buds, the movement of petals. I felt so organic in this process that it seemed that here it is – HAPPINESS – and in this state, I can spend my whole life. That's how I learned what a whole body orgasm is. Although the earthly word "orgasm" seems too small and insignificant for such heavenly divine sensations. I felt genuine gratitude to my body for these unearthly, almost disembodied experiences. It lasted for 3 (!) hours. I forced myself to get up to return to human life. I had to fight to calm down Kundalini, which continued for several more days. Thank you for your help, Shiva. And for the snake; I'm almost inseparable from her now...

Angels
Kundalini has calmed down and hasn't made itself known for a long time. Are miracles a thing of the past? We're in Alaska, in a Russian church. Shiva beckons me to him and suggests feeling the energy of the place he discovered. Oh yes! It's time for wonders again. At first, warmth at the feet, along the spine, and then it starts rocking, like on a ship in a storm. It rocks so much that it knocks you off your feet. A couple of times I almost fell; luckily, Shiva was nearby and caught me. I try my best to stay upright; my body copes with the instability, but the "rocking" continues inside.

Again, an uncontrollable force awakens in me, wandering through my body on an unpredictable trajectory, spreading bliss, joy, happiness, calmness, and delight.

My head periodically fills with white light, and this light descends, illuminating me from within. I could stand for an eternity without any fatigue in my legs because the sense of the body disappeared again. Sometimes I could feel my back, shoulders, hair because something continuously touched them from the outside, and these touches were extremely pleasant. What was it? Spirits, angels? More like the wings of angels. It's not that important; what matters is that the touches were felt physically, and at first, I even looked around to see who was touching me. That's how I felt divine ecstasy, which stayed with me for several more hours!!!

How I wish to live my whole life in this blissful state of detachment.

Two people almost forcibly took my body out of the church - everyone got tired of waiting, and it was time to move on.

When Shiva and I returned to the church the next day, the priest said that we were amazing and very good people, and that this place in the church is truly unique.

As of now (as of May 2020), I've had more than ten ascents, and each of them was unique and delightful. I am infinitely grateful to the Universe for connecting me to this unique source of life, energy, strength, and inspiration. Grateful to that book (read the previous article) that prepared me correctly for this incomparable event. And grateful to you, my dear reader, for sharing these memories with me.